Of Vampires and Such Nonsense

Am I the only one who’s getting tired of the vampire-romance phenomenon?

As a writer hoping to break into the Young Adult Fiction market, I find it very discouraging every time I go to Barnes & Noble and almost everything I pick up is rubbish. Don’t get me wrong, there are many (MANY) wonderful books and authors, but you can’t swing a stick without hitting something that involves vampires or other mythical creatures that fall under the category of “undead.”

I’ve read Twilight. Originally it was only to see what all the hoopla was about and later mock it (I’m not a person who catches on easily to trends or likes to jump on band wagons). But I actually liked it, unlike almost all or virtually any of my peers (although I do have one friend who is a rabid fan). I applaud Stephanie Meyer on the accomplishment of the first Twilight book, as for the others in the saga…well, that’s an entirely different rant. And let’s face it, even if you don’t like Meyer or her books, she has sparked a phenomenon. I’m not using that word lightly. A Phenomenon. Were vampire stories around before? Of course. Were they popular? Yeah... But who has spiked the resurgence of vampires, causing millions (if not billions) of teenage girls to be bitten by the book-bug? Stephanie Meyer.

Regardless, I’m sick of it. I’m sick of all the shameless rip-offs. Sick of second-rate authors taking over the classics. Just the other day I encountered a rather disturbing rendition of “Jane Eyre.” The title? “Jane Slayre.” Is that the best they can come up with? I can guarantee you that Charlotte Bronte is rolling in her grave (but not as a vampire!).

Another thing I’m concerned (but mostly irritated) about is the fact that these tactless and just downright stupid books are getting published. Was there a sudden lapse in judgment at the publishing firms? Were the editors themselves turned into brainless zombies? I’m beginning to wonder. There was a book (the name of which I will refrain from mentioning) I read about a year ago (“Fallen” by Lauren Kate!) which scarred me beyond repair. The plot was fairly predictable, but I was intrigued enough to be led about ¾ of the way through the story when something horrible happened. As soon as the two clueless and rather clichéd main characters professed their love for one another they’re personalities entirely changed. I was angry. Downright vengeful. I read two more pages of the spineless, mushy dialogue between the two before I closed the book, wanting nothing more than to vomit (perhaps I exaggerate). How could this happen? How is it that the publishing companies are letting us down? How is it that authors can forget their own characters’ character?!

That being said, let me clarify for the record that I am not entirely prejudice against the genre of “Teen Paranormal.” In fact, I’m a fan of “Need” by Carrie Jones and Maggie Stiefvater’s novels (expressly “Lament” and “Ballad,” despite the occasional bad language). Recently (last week actually) I even gave Claudia Gray’s “Evernight” books a chance. It seemed like the usual…new girl goes to a new school meets mysterious boy and he’s a vampire (some people even switch it up and make the guy a fallen angel—note the sarcasm). However, there was a plot twist (SPOILER ALERT) and the leading girl is actually the vampire. What a curveball, right? I appreciated it. But it still wasn’t enough for me to enjoy the rest of the book. It soon became really weird. Instead of the overly protective vampire boyfriend, the girl becomes an overly protective vampire girlfriend, which to be honest just freaked me out.

I feel like it’s unfair to end this post on such a negative note. So I’ll add that I recently began a book published by Harper Collins Teen (the very same company that publishes “Evernight” and such rubbish) that I’ve actually fallen in love with. It’s called “The Last Knight” by Hilari Bell. It’s quirky, funny, original, and skillfully written. Try it on for size and see if it’s not refreshing to read something you won’t be ashamed of.